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excuse me for how long this may seem today… I usually keep it short and simple. But I woke up so inspired and happy this morning and created this very untraditional blog post.
Have you ever been super inspired ?… inspired by how magnificent someone is able to love you… love you strong enough to create a kinda glorious omnipresent presence in your everyday… a presence that is prominent even without their physical presence????
I am confident I will always love you.
AND how very sure I am that he loves me… even his mother loves me. I am in awe of how they think of me. Surely… surely I can appreciate how YOU have “caterpillered” YOUR way into becoming my number one fan… presently my firm supporter … This space You carry for us… quintessentially breathing in love and heartbreak. And EVEN STILL it is absolutely delightful… Our “light” story bullies any traditional and accepting love story. Certain challenges you have presented me with… simply in my HONOR.
What grace I have experienced from your experience baby.
I am the Queen of chapters and paragraphs. I am the Queen of Love my truest friends would say. I have yet to put someone in the title line though. I have had someone in mind however forever … forever for quite sometimes however… and sometimes I think our love story is a real secret… and even then I am okay with that. Cuz you and I, “its” so unique that only He and I understand it…that is enough… so maybe there will be a title birthing soon after all… Cinderella.
OH THESE WALLS! Walls + margins… scribbles and notepads… scribbles + sticky notes… break of dawning face-timing Kita… I guess these are thee walls Asha has built… I suppose these are the wall which you build when you have something extraordinary to offer. More than self … more like life. It can possibly be the gift and the curse…. Shit I think I am the gift of a curse…. Imagine knowing the natural gifts that YOU can provide for the RIGHT person… yet the process of knowing if this person is worthy of being a chapter… a paragraph… a note … or a TITLE…
… and then I think back to you…
And because its you… its beautiful… Its simple.. Its effective. WE WORK… No effort just love…No backtracking… just progress. No name calling or remembering.. you just forgiveness and amnesia.. I have to remember that just watching you can highlight my entire day… even if it is just watching you call... YOU HEALER YOU…who knew how very special just seeing your name and number could be? Its so good… to be loved by YOU globetrotter.
All this time you were darkness. I wish you could hear me… reading this letter out loud. Come here near me. I will repeat it.. You were the darkness… and I still loved you. You can be the darkest darkness today, I still love you. Cuz, I know how it feels to hold your hand. And I can finally say that its okay for you to love me the way that you do… I am unabashed… AND you deserve forgiveness… because I deserve it all.
I bet you thought I would never AGAIN come… or get there.. or arrive soon enough… It’s like magic isn’t it? Every single time I see you… You would have to see it to believe it.I would pay for the whole world to feel like how I am seen in your eyes.. Those magnificent lights … I am such a Queen to you…. and it feels so good… sooo good to be loved by you …. Yes its sooo good to be loved by YOU. All these miles of separation are brought together with the magnitudes of your love. I love you.
I can only blush when I think of You saying my name. I would change my name but I can remember you saying it… over and over and over and over again. Most of the time you are yelling… but its okay… Its my name that you are yelling.. its my name You yell with all this passion that makes me giggle with the heart of your child.
especially today… Always now but especially today. You have taken the time to know me.. understand me … learn me… hear me… and DEVELOP me. How selfless it is that you have been. How I have witnessed you grow from such a youthful state of mind.. and now to transcend into THIS man… all this new growth Honey… I will forever be of kin to you.
…and I can never figure it out… how someone could consider you a beast. Granted… I have an idea… but this beauty which you have given that has resonated in me… overrides EVERYTHING else. You have a home in me.. and it can be strictly platonic… but you have a home and you have a foundation is firm… because you have taken the time to create it.
I could just leave it at this. But You must understand how much of a blessing it is to have you to love. It is such a blessing to have you to love me. All this wisdom you have shared… Its so fulfilling baby. I live for your magic talks. You happy-end my ideas. You have gone above and beyond to support, nurture and to give me a family. A FAMILY… can you believe that? I am so grateful. I am so grateful… You have given me such a vulnerability and there is so much strength in that. There is so much strength in you…. -Gracias Padre.